I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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