Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
