i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
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When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
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My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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