gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
