remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
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