hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
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