Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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