how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
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