if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Randomize