I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
