Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
It was confusing and full of hummus
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
