You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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