I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Randomize
