I'm really into asian looking animals
Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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