i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
