so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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