I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
