belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Randomize
