Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
Randomize
