I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
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