I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
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