My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
