evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
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