I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
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