I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
