I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
