she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
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