He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
