No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
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