is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
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