I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
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