I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
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