yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Randomize
