you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
