if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Holy sore nipples Batman
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Randomize
