weddingsv make me drug and hornr
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
