Pants 0. Shit 1.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
