too bad you live with your parents still
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
