this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Randomize
