my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
