Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
