Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
