you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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