yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Randomize
