Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
