Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Randomize
