Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
