omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
