fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
