i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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