when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
I wish there were birth control emojis
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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