if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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