PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize
