Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
