If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
