What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
