Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
