I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Randomize
