my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
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